10 Advantages of Global Warming

Global Warming has become something of a cool word (pun unintended) these days. People who might not even care about this issue try to know as much about it as possible, just to sound cool. And when some one talks about it, he/she does sound concerned and caring kind of a person.

Well, I say enough is enough! This thing has been totally blown out of proportion. Someone has to put a stop to it. Who says Global Warming is all bad? I don't!

That is why I have decided to list down ten advantages of Global Warming. So here we go:

10: I am quite sure, not many people living in Bombay use Sunscreen. I am also sure that more people buy it than the people who actually use them. Don’t tell me you bought it and used it religiously. It doesn’t happen in this city. But now, you have the chance to use them. What’s more, you will end up needing them so much you will buy more and more. Trust me this is a very safe investment to make if you have the money. Start selling them, you are assured to get rich quick.

09: Remember what happens in June every single year? It rains! And with this, you start searching for the umbrellas and raincoats you had kept in your attic last year, dust them off and find out that you would have to buy new ones anyways. But now, you won’t have to; even if you do, you can rest assured that you will be extracting full value for the money you paid for them. Come on, it will be raining more than usual and more times than usual. What’s more, it will be raining even after the monsoon ends. Only downside to this is you will have to keep the umbrellas outside all year long. But this is not that big and I am sure you will thank yourself for doing that. One more investment tip, Umbrellas!

08: I don’t know how many people have watched the Friends episode where Joey bids on a yacht and ends up winning the bid. He gets so excited about it that he refuses to give it back and pays through his nose to get it. Now, the probability of that having happened to you is even lesser than you watching that episode. But if not a yacht, maybe you bid on a small boat or even a raft. If that DID happen to you, then thanks to Global Warming, you will be able to use it. And what’s more, you will be using it more often than you think. I suggest you get it ‘souped up’. Get it something like this, to make it scream. You will be the envy of the whole city. You can go anywhere you want anytime you want. Nothing can stop from getting to a date or going for the haircut you have been postponing; of course all of this depends on the availability, because everything will be pretty much, ahem, flooded.

07: Each and every one of you, who has or still is living in Bombay, cannot deny the fact that they are armed enough to go to Russia in December. And I do not mean you have the fire power. What I mean is, you have enough clothes made out of wool for which at least 3 sheep had to go bald. And when have you used them in this city? NEVER! It just stays at the back of your closet, wrapped with naphthalene balls to make sure no insects get to them. Not any more, you will soon find enough reasons to use them in our very own city. What’s more, because we have been so used to Bombay’s traditional climate, you will have to BUY more woolen clothing. It is going to be awesomely cool! (pun very much intended)

06: I know all of you have seen the movie Ice Age. And I also know that all of you have loved the movie. All of you thought it is such a cool movie. And how much fun did Manny, Sid and Diego have in all the snow and ice. But now, you will soon have your very own Ice Age to play in. all thanks to Global Warming! What’s more, this one too will last long enough to get the animals in movie back in the evolutionary chain. Of course, you might not live that long, but what the heck, they will have fun! So the next time you keep your car running longer than it needs to, you can be excited about us being so much closer to the Ice Age!

05: Had there been no Global Warming, would Al Gore ever have been even considered for a Nobel Award? Heck No! But, thanks to the earth being microwaved slowly, he got it! I mean what has he done? All he has done is make a presentation, record it and made a movie out of it. Okay, he does have a cool website which has good information, and he HAS done some good stuff in the US. But the fact remains that he is so well known today only because of Global Warming. What’s more, he won a Nobel Award thanks to it. No more needs to be said about this!

04: How often do you wonder, what am I doing in life? Life has become so monotonous, so predictable! I need unpredictability, excitement, not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow, etc. Well, thanks to Global Warming, you will have one less reason to crib like this. You will never know whether it is going to rain today or it will be hot and sunny. You will not be able to predict if your streets will be flooding with water or there will be a shortage of water once monsoon ends. What’s more, it might even be hot, chilly and raining, all in one day! Talk about reality television type drama! Totally unexpected! So be prepared guys and girls, it is going to be one unpredictable ride ahead!

03: You know what other thing I have had enough of people cribbing about? It’s population! How many people have you heard cribbing about how populated this country is and how there is no space and how the world over people keep increasing, blah, blah and more blah! Not any more; thanks to Global Warming the population will automatically keep decreasing! The number of people being made homeless will keep increasing! What’s more, people will now for a change be reluctant to get more people in this world! WOW! This is a double edged sword! How can anyone have a problem with something like this? I already have 8 awesome advantages and there is two more to go!

02: This is for sure one of the most advantageous of all. Unfortunately, considering how desperate guys are, this is bound to benefit them more that girls. Guys, read up on this subject as much as you can. And I mean as MUCH as you can! Trust me this is going to be worth it. Imagine yourself in a group of strangers. All guys and one girl; to add to this, you are single and she is hot! Everyone is trying to find the right topic to break the ice. Suddenly you notice that her shirt is a little damp around her armpits. That’s it! You have the perfect reason to start talking to her! Didn’t get it? Go up and give her a deo (no offence) or offer her water and start talking about the climate. Build up to what the climate is coming to! Dump all the scientific knowledge you have about Global Warming in the coolest way you can. She will be so impressed, she is sure to ask you out! What’s more, if she is already going out with someone, she is sure to dump that ‘lesser-knowledged’ human being! Unless of course he also happens to have read this piece of tip I am giving! Go ahead

01: Now for the Grand Finale! The ultimate benefit of the big GW! *Drum Roll*

Okay, that’s it, I can’t do it anymore! I cannot go ahead and call something the biggest benefit of GW! This is no joke guys! Trust me, this is serious! I want my grandkids to not have any of these advantages when they live (though the last one doesn’t seem to be that bad to have). Come on, do your bit and make this planet easier to live on for as long as possible. And PLEASE visit http://www.climatecrisis.net/.

All I hope is that whatever I have written has had some affect on you guys.

To a cooler world!

Who is the best Keeper?

Finally I found the motivation to kick-start my blog again. Well, what topic could be better for this than one which is titled ‘Who is the best Keeper?’

Let’s start by listing down the men in question:

*Drum Roll*

1. “Saint” Iker Casillas
2. Gianluigi “Gigi” Buffon
3. Edwin Van der Sar

Now as we would do for any comprehensive analysis, we should list the good and bad points of each and every keeper, but I don’t have time for that and more importantly we don’t need that.

All three of them can be easily called one of the best goal keepers of their times. But this is where we have to say bye-bye to Van der Sar. Even though he is a great goalkeeper, gifted with extra-ordinary reach and flexibility thanks to his 6’ 6” frame, he does not have the ability to ‘fly’ like the other two do and is sure not getting any younger at 37. Well basically he is very close to his last dance and the Euro 2008 might well have been his last major tournament for Netherlands.

This leaves us with The Saint and Gigi. Both will surely be remembered in years to come as the best goalkeepers of all time (the key words here being all time). However, it is very difficult to compare both of these goalkeepers. Both have perfect technique, have awesome reach and amazing flexibility. Add to this their lightning-quick reflexes and they become the best ever. For me it is even more difficult to separate both of them because one plays for my favorite club (Real Madrid) and the other plays for the national team I support (Italy). However, I am still trying to figure this one out.

Gigi first started at the age of 17 for Parma A.C. At the age of 19 he was already playing for Italy. This was his time. He became huge, he became immensely huge. No one ever even argued that he was not the best; he WAS the best, period. The reason? In 2001, he transferred from Parma to Juventus for a world-record goalkeeper's fee of €52 million. With Juventus, he has won two Serie A titles and one Serie B title. He still loves the club he is playing for right now. In 2006, the year Italy won the FIFA World Cup, Juventus, surrounded by match fixing allegations, was relegated to Serie B. This paved the way for teams from other leagues to grab good Italian players as Juventus could not refuse the transfer money. World Cup winners like Zambrotta and Captain Cannavaro left, but the Gigi didn’t inspite of big offers coming his way. A year later he said, "I think that in the end, I made the right choice, a choice which makes me sleep well during the night, and keeps my conscience clear." Apart from winning titles for his clubs and the World Cup final which went down to penalties he has won six Serie A Goalkeeper of the year awards, two Onze d’Or, two FIFPro Goalkeeper of the Year awards and featured thrice in the UEFA Team of the Year. All these achievements count a lot considering that both his club and national team have underachieved for the majority of his tenure with them.

St. Iker on the other hand is an out and out Madrid boy. He is a product of the Real Madrid’s youth System. He debuted for the Real Madrid senior team at the age of 17 in the 1998-99 season and became the first choice keeper then on. In 2000, he became the youngest goalkeeper ever to feature in a UEFA Champions League final and then go on to win it. Only once did he loose his spot in the first team in the 2001-02 season, but won it back in style in the last game of the same season. To top it, the game was the Champions League final and he had come on as a substitute. Inspite of this, he made some of the most amazing saves, which not only won Real Madrid the title, but also secured his position for next season which he has kept till date. He does not have any big money transfer to his name, but that sure does not take anything away from him, he just happened to have born in the city with the biggest club in the world. With Madrid, he has won an amazing four La Liga titles, two Champions League medals with the last one coming in 2002 when they also won the UEFA Super Cup and the Intercontinental Cup. With the national team, he has won FIFA U-20 World Cup in 1999 and the most recent UEFA Euro Cup in 2008. He hasn’t won many individual awards, but goalkeepers hardly ever do, with Buffon an exception to the rule.

Both of them ply their trade in leagues which are not as popular or covered as much by the Indian media as the English League. This has worked against them in terms of the global audience taking more time in recognising their skills and ability.

But all of this changed at the recently concluded Euro 2008. The stage was set for the two best goalkeepers in the game to face off. Both of them had the added responsibility of captaining their team as well and both of them have huge respect for each other (one could see that). Many people still knew Buffon was one of the best, but they surely didn’t know how good Casillas was (the ignorant English fans that they are). But boy did he prove a point! He showed that he is second to none. In his own right, he can be called the best goalkeeper today on par with Gigi. Apart from this, I love this guy. Not only has he saved Madrid the blushes by getting them out of trouble thousands of times, but the modesty with which he has done that is commendable. I have been watching him play since he was 17 and I still remember the commentator in a Real Madrid Vs Manchester United match saying, “He is driven to practice every day as opposed to his team mates who drive their expensive super cars. He is not old enough to get a driving license yet.”

I have to admit, I like Casillas more than Buffon. Buffon has always played in a team with some of the best defenders and the ball would rarely be allowed to reach him easily. On the other hand Casillas has more often than not been the goalkeeper for a Madrid team famous more for its attacking flair than the defensive ability.

Casillas was just recently rewarded by the club with a lifetime contract. This wouldn’t make much of a difference to him as he had already pledged his career to Madrid. He wants to become the president of Real Madrid Club de Fútbol one day.

What do you think?